A man with a red beard and glasses smiling with arms crossed, standing outdoors among green trees.

meet rusty

accepting new clients: rusty@thebreakuptherapist.com

individual counseling //online and in-person therapy in asheville and across north carolina

i work with people of all genders navigating anxiety, relationship challenges, and the pressure to keep it together even when things aren’t working the way they used to. i also specialize in working with men who know something needs to change, but aren’t always sure how to take the next step. 

therapy for men

if you think you’re supposed to be able to do all of this on your own, you’re probably in the right spot. i get it - i’ve been there, too. and i know that holding it all by yourself comes at a cost to your happiness, relationships, and satisfaction in life. 

in a private setting with scheduling flexibility, i help men better:

  • communicate with your partner without escalating

  • handle anger without shutting down or blowing up

  • feel less on edge or burnt out at work or in your family life

  • navigate relationships without losing who you are

when we work together, you can be blunt, direct, and unpolished. you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about, and we go at your pace.

our work together might look like breaking down a recent argument, figuring out what set it off, and mapping out how to handle it next time. 

couples counseling

i work with couples who are exhausted by the “me vs. you” paradigm. i help couples reorient to an “us vs. the problem” lens.  I sometimes feel like my job is that of a translator: i’m there to help untangle the constant miscommunications, and to help you both get after what you’re really talking about instead of just having the same fight. 

i help partners and couples:

  • repair after infidelity or betrayals

  • learn how to stay grounded when your partner triggers you

  • learn to communicate differently and stop repeating the same argument

  • find clarity about the future of their relationship

  • take responsibility in their relationship instead of waiting for something (or someone else) to change

together, we'll review this couples counseling agreement at our first session. you can read about our no secrets policy and the contraindications to therapy here.

sometimes the hardest relationship questions don't have simple answers. they show up when you're feeling disconnected from yourself, from your partner, or from the life you've built. these are some of the questions my clients ask:

  • sometimes you've spent so long focused on everyone else's needs, expectations, or priorities that you've lost touch with your own. that doesn't mean something is wrong with you. it may simply mean it's time to reconnect with yourself and get curious about what matters to you now.

  • many people reach a point where they realize that meeting expectations isn't the same as living a life that feels meaningful. if you've checked all the boxes and still feel unfulfilled, it may be worth exploring what you actually want rather than what you've been told you should want.

  • trust can be rebuilt, but it rarely happens overnight. whether you're rebuilding trust in a relationship or in yourself, it takes honesty, consistency, and a willingness to move through difficult emotions along the way.

  • many people avoid conflict because they're afraid of rejection, criticism, or damaging the relationship. learning to navigate conflict in a healthy way can help you communicate more honestly while staying connected to the people who matter to you.

  • loneliness isn't always about being alone. often it's about feeling unseen, misunderstood, or disconnected from the people around you. meaningful connection comes from feeling like you can be yourself with others.

  • healthy relationships make room for both connection and individuality. being a good partner doesn't require sacrificing your needs, identity, or wellbeing. it means learning how to balance caring for someone else while staying connected to yourself.

  • healthy relationships aren't perfect. they're built on honesty, respect, communication, and the ability to work through challenges together. they allow both people to feel valued, heard, and accepted for who they are.

  • emotional availability often starts with learning to understand your own feelings instead of pushing them away. the more comfortable you become with your inner experience, the easier it becomes to share yourself with others.

faq

  • i work best with men and adults who are struggling with relationship issues, communication challenges, boundaries, anxiety, or major life transitions. many of my clients feel disconnected from their partner, unsure how to express their emotions, or stuck repeating the same patterns in relationships. therapy helps you better understand yourself, communicate more effectively, and build stronger, healthier connections with the people who matter most.

  • i am in network with BCBS, Aetna, MedCost, AmBetter, Healthy Blue BCBS, Tricare, Carolina Complete/ Wellcare Medicaid, Amerihealth Caritas, and UHC Community.

    private pay sessions are billed at $135 per 55 minutes

  • yes. i hold virtual and in person sessions mondays from 8-1, wednesdays from 9-12, and tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays from 9-2