A man with a red beard and glasses smiling with arms crossed, standing outdoors among green trees.

meet rusty

accepting new clients: rusty@thebreakuptherapist.com

individual counseling //online and in-person therapy in asheville and across north carolina

therapy for men • first responder mental health • anger & irritability • relationship therapy

i work with adults of all genders, with a particular focus on men, first responders, and people who may not have pictured themselves in therapy in the first place.

maybe someone you love has encouraged you to come to therapy. maybe you know something isn't working the way you want it to anymore. or possibly you're just starting to wonder if talking to someone could actually help.

with me, you don't need the right words or a clear idea of what you want to work on. you can be skeptical, unsure, or completely new to therapy. we'll start there.

therapy for men, first responders & people who aren’t sure about therapy

you don't have to be sold on therapy to start.

maybe:

  • you're good in a crisis, but less sure what to do when there's nothing to fix

  • your patience is shorter than it used to be

  • you keep things to yourself until they come out as anger, irritability, or shutting down

  • your partner keeps asking you to "open up," but you're genuinely not sure what they want you to say

  • you promise yourself you'll handle it differently next time, but somehow end up in the same place

  • you can talk about what happened; talking about how you feel about it is another story

  • you’re unsure if you want to stay in your field of work

relationships are part of this, too

relationship issues are often what bring people to therapy in the first place. i frequently work with people who are tired of having the same argument, want to communicate differently, are navigating betrayal or broken trust, or want their relationship to change even when their partner isn't interested in therapy.

your partner doesn't have to come to therapy for you to start doing something differently. we'll pay attention to the places where you keep getting stuck or falling back into the same responses, and figure out what you can actually do differently.

sometimes that means trying something that feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, like speaking up instead of shutting down, setting a boundary, letting go of something you can't control, or responding differently even when the other person hasn't changed. i'll help you find a path forward and stay with the discomfort that can come with doing something different. if it was easy, you would have already done it.

sometimes the hardest relationship questions don't have simple answers. they show up when you're feeling disconnected from yourself, from your partner, or from the life you've built. these are some of the questions my clients ask:

  • sometimes you've spent so long focused on everyone else's needs, expectations, or priorities that you've lost touch with your own. that doesn't mean something is wrong with you. it may simply mean it's time to reconnect with yourself and get curious about what matters to you now.

  • many people reach a point where they realize that meeting expectations isn't the same as living a life that feels meaningful. if you've checked all the boxes and still feel unfulfilled, it may be worth exploring what you actually want rather than what you've been told you should want.

  • trust can be rebuilt, but it rarely happens overnight. whether you're rebuilding trust in a relationship or in yourself, it takes honesty, consistency, and a willingness to move through difficult emotions along the way. also, your actions and words have to align-that’s a major part of rebuilding

  • many people avoid conflict because they're afraid of rejection, criticism, or damaging the relationship. learning to navigate conflict in a healthy way can help you communicate more honestly while staying connected to the people who matter to you.

  • emotional availability often starts with learning to understand your own feelings instead of pushing them away. the more comfortable you become with your inner experience, the easier it becomes to share yourself with others.

faq

  • i work best with adults who are struggling with relationship issues, communication challenges, boundaries, anxiety, or major life transitions. many of my clients feel disconnected from their partner, unsure how to express their emotions, or stuck repeating the same patterns in relationships. therapy helps you better understand yourself, communicate more effectively, and build stronger, healthier connections with the people who matter most.

  • i am in network with BCBS, Aetna, MedCost, AmBetter, Healthy Blue BCBS, Tricare, Carolina Complete/ Wellcare Medicaid, Amerihealth Caritas, and UHC Community.

    private pay sessions are billed at $135 per 55 minutes

  • yes. i hold virtual and in person sessions mondays from 8-1, wednesdays from 9-12, and tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays from 9-2